Recognizing the Signs: Knowing When Therapy Might Be Right for Your Child

Written by: Habeebah Abdus-Salaam, LSW, CSSW

As a parent or caregiver, one of your most important responsibilities is ensuring your child’s emotional, mental, and physical well-being. You are their protector, comforter, and guide from the very moment they are born. You celebrate their victories, comfort them through their tears, and help them overcome the obstacles that life throws their way. As your child grows older, their emotional and mental needs become more complex. Sometimes, it can be challenging to tell whether a behavior is just a normal developmental phase or a sign of something deeper that requires attention, such as anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns.

Children, just like adults, can experience emotional distress, face difficulties with relationships, or feel overwhelmed by life’s stressors. The difference, however, is that they may not always have the tools or the vocabulary to express their feelings. Therapy for children in South Jersey can be an incredibly powerful resource to help children process their emotions and develop coping strategies, but as a parent, knowing when to seek professional help can be overwhelming. In this blog post, we will guide you through recognizing the signs that therapy could benefit your child, explain the types of therapy available, and offer practical advice on supporting your child through the therapy process.

Understanding the Fine Line Between Normal Behavior and Concerning Symptoms

Children’s emotions, behaviors, and needs constantly shift as they grow. At each stage of development, they face new challenges that can affect their emotional and psychological well-being. For example, toddlers may have frequent tantrums as they learn how to manage their emotions, young children might feel frustrated when they struggle with social interactions, and teenagers may become withdrawn or moody as they navigate the complexities of adolescence. These experiences are often part of normal development.

However, there are times when emotional and behavioral difficulties go beyond the usual developmental milestones and indicate that your child might be struggling with something more significant. The key is to examine the behavior and its frequency, intensity, and duration. In addition, it’s important to consider whether the behavior is interfering with your child’s ability to function in daily life—whether at school, with friends, or at home.

Here are some of the most common signs that could suggest your child might benefit from therapy:

1. Persistent Emotional Distress

It is normal for children to feel sad, worried, or frustrated from time to time, but when these emotions persist over a longer period and seem intense or uncontrollable, it may be a sign of an underlying issue. Pay attention to the following signs:

• Does your child frequently seem sad, hopeless, or down even when there’s no clear reason for them to feel this way?
• Are they excessively anxious, fearful, or worried about situations that other children might handle with relative ease?
• Do they seem overwhelmed by their emotions, leading to frequent outbursts, meltdowns, or difficulties calming down?

While occasional moments of sadness or anxiety are part of growing up, consistent or escalating emotional distress could be a red flag that your child needs help in managing these emotions.

2. Significant Behavioral Changes

Children’s behaviors can change for many reasons, but sudden, drastic shifts may indicate an emotional or psychological struggle. Watch for these behaviors:

• Has your child started to isolate themselves, avoiding interactions with family members or friends they previously enjoyed spending time with?
• Are they displaying behaviors such as aggression, defiance, or irritability that seem uncharacteristic for them?
• Have they stopped participating in activities or hobbies they once loved, such as sports, arts, or spending time with friends?

These behavioral changes may be particularly concerning if they happen suddenly and without a clear explanation. It’s important to assess whether the behaviors are occurring more frequently or becoming more intense over time.

3. Struggles with Academics or Social Relationships

Challenges in the academic or social realms can often indicate underlying emotional or mental health struggles. Here are some questions to consider:

• Has your child’s academic performance started to decline despite their best efforts, or have they become disengaged in school altogether?
• Are they frequently complaining about physical ailments like stomachaches or headaches, particularly when it’s time to go to school or participate in social events?
• Are they having trouble making or maintaining friendships, or do they often find themselves in conflict with peers?

School-related stress or social challenges can significantly impact a child’s mental health, and if left unaddressed, these issues can worsen over time.

4. Unexplained Physical Symptoms

Emotional and psychological struggles often manifest physically in children. Stress, anxiety, and depression can show up in the form of headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue. Some things to watch include:

• Does your child complain of frequent headaches, stomachaches, or other physical complaints with no clear medical explanation?
• Do their physical symptoms seem to be linked to specific situations or events, such as going to school, attending social gatherings, or facing a stressful situation?

When physical symptoms persist without a medical diagnosis, it may indicate that the child’s emotional distress is affecting them physically.

5. Risky or Self-Destructive Behaviors

Any signs of self-harm or behaviors that put your child at risk should be taken very seriously. These can include:

• Visible signs of self-harm, such as cuts, burns, or bruises.
• Engaging in risky behaviors like running away from home, using substances, or skipping school.
• Expressing thoughts of death or wishing they were no longer alive.

If you notice any of these behaviors, it’s important to seek immediate help from a professional. Self-harm or thoughts of suicide are serious issues and require urgent intervention.

6. Difficulty Coping with Life Changes or Trauma

Children often struggle with major transitions or traumatic experiences. These could include the death of a loved one, a divorce, or exposure to abuse or violence. If your child is struggling to cope with life changes, it might manifest in ways such as:

• Increased difficulty adjusting to major transitions, such as moving to a new home, starting a new school, or the loss of a parent or other loved one.
• Symptoms of trauma, such as nightmares, flashbacks, or exaggerated startle responses.
• A significant change in behavior, such as becoming overly anxious, withdrawn, or distrustful.

When children experience trauma or significant life changes, they often lack the coping strategies necessary to process their emotions. Therapy can provide them with the tools they need to navigate these challenges in a healthy way.

Understanding What May Contribute to Emotional Struggles

It’s essential to recognize the factors that could contribute to your child’s emotional and behavioral struggles. These can vary widely and might include:

• Academic and Developmental Pressures: Children are under significant pressure to perform academically and socially. Challenges such as learning disabilities, attention difficulties, or unrealistic academic expectations can cause anxiety and frustration, leading to emotional difficulties.
• Peer Pressure and Social Struggles: Peer relationships are a significant part of childhood and adolescence, but they can also be a source of stress. Bullying, exclusion, or trouble fitting in can have lasting emotional effects.
• Family Stress: Family dynamics—whether due to conflict, divorce, financial instability, or the introduction of a new sibling—can create emotional stress for children and disrupt their sense of security.
• Trauma: Traumatic events, whether big or small, can impact a child’s mental health. It’s important to recognize that even experiences that might seem minor to adults, such as bullying or a pet’s death, can be deeply impactful to a child.
• Neurodevelopmental Differences: Conditions like autism spectrum disorder (ASD), attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and sensory processing disorder can make it harder for children to navigate the world, leading to emotional outbursts or frustration.

How Therapy For Children Can Help Your Child Thrive

Therapy can offer a supportive, safe space for children to process their emotions, build coping strategies, and work through their struggles. In addition, therapy can provide parents and caregivers with strategies and tools to better support their child’s emotional well-being. Some of the key benefits of therapy include:

• Improved Emotional Regulation: Therapy helps children recognize their emotions and learn how to manage them in healthier ways.
• Better Communication Skills: Therapy provides children with the language and tools to express their thoughts and feelings effectively.
• Stronger Problem-Solving Abilities: Therapists help children develop strategies to tackle challenges and make decisions.
• Enhanced Relationships: Therapy can strengthen a child’s ability to connect with family members, friends, and others, improving their social and emotional interactions.
• Trauma Recovery: Trauma-focused therapy can help children process and heal from past trauma, allowing them to move forward in a healthier way.

Types of Therapy for Children

The type of therapy that is most effective will depend on your child’s needs, age, and developmental stage. Some common therapeutic approaches include:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps children identify negative thought patterns that influence their emotions and behaviors. This approach is particularly effective for conditions such as anxiety, depression, and phobias.
• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT is ideal for children who experience intense emotions or engage in self-destructive behaviors. It teaches skills like mindfulness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance.
• Play Therapy: For younger children, play therapy uses toys, games, and creative activities to help them express their emotions in a way that’s developmentally appropriate.
• Family Therapy: Family therapy focuses on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening relationships within the family unit.
• Trauma-Focused Therapy: This type of therapy helps children process and heal from traumatic experiences, with approaches like Trauma-Focused CBT (TF-CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) being especially effective.
• Group Therapy: Group therapy allows children to connect with others who are going through similar struggles, fostering a sense of community and shared understanding.

When to Seek Therapy

If you’re unsure about whether your child needs therapy, ask yourself the following questions:

• Duration: Has the behavior or emotional struggle lasted for weeks or even months?
• Severity: Is the issue significantly affecting their daily life, relationships, or self-esteem?
• Instincts: Trust your instincts as a parent. If you feel something is off, it’s better to seek help sooner rather than later.

Talking to Your Child About Therapy

Introducing the idea of therapy to your child can feel intimidating, but having a calm, empathetic conversation can make all the difference. Here are some tips:

• Choose the Right Moment: Bring up the topic during a calm, relaxed time when your child feels safe.
• Use Simple, Age-Appropriate Language: Explain therapy in ways your child can understand. For example, “Therapy is a place where you can talk about your feelings and learn new ways to feel better.”
• Normalize the Process: Reassure your child that seeing a child therapist is common, and that many people, children, and adults—use therapy to feel better and work through tough situations.

Supporting Your Child During Therapy

Therapy is most effective when it is supported by a nurturing home environment. Here are some ways you can help:

• Be Patient: Change takes time, and progress may be gradual.
• Listen Actively: Show that you value their feelings by listening attentively and without judgment.
• Model Healthy Coping Strategies: Demonstrate effective ways to manage stress and emotions in your own life.
• Create Open Communication: Foster an environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences.
• Stay Involved: Work alongside the therapist and continue supporting your child’s progress outside of therapy.

Breaking the Stigma Around Therapy

There’s often stigma surrounding therapy, especially when it comes to children. It’s important to recognize that seeking therapy is not a sign of weakness, and it’s a proactive step toward healing. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and therapy is a valuable tool that can help your child live a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Knowing When to Seek Therapy For Children: Supporting Your Child’s Well-Being

Recognizing the signs for knowing when therapy might be right for your child can be a daunting task, though it’s also one of your most loving actions. Whether your child is struggling with anxiety, emotional distress, trauma, or developmental challenges, therapy at DBT of South Jersey offers the support and guidance they need to thrive. If you’re ever in doubt, reach out to a professional who specializes in children’s mental health to ensure your child gets the care they deserve.

Supporting Your Child’s Growth With Therapy For Children in South Jersey

If your child is struggling with emotional or behavioral challenges, therapy for children in South Jersey can provide the support they need to grow and thrive. At DBT of South Jersey, our compassionate therapists specialize in helping children develop healthy coping skills in a safe, nurturing environment. Contact us today to learn how we can support your child’s journey toward emotional well-being. Follow these three simple steps to get started:

1. Contact us to book a free consultation with our intake team
2. Meet with one of our skilled child and teen therapists
3. Start helping your child or teen develop healthy coping skills!

Resources: 

https://manhattanpsychologygroup.com/MPG-blog/how-do-i-know-when-my-child-needs-more-than-therapy-or-a-psychologist/

https://www.mvpsych.com/blog/how-to-know-child-needs-therapy/