I like to joke and call myself a thirty year old grandma (and for any of my clients reading this- yes I’m dinging myself for this judgement!). The reason for this is I look forward to an episode of wheel of fortune and Jeopardy every night, I love hanging out with my cats, and I enjoy getting lost in a good book while obviously sipping an iced coffee. Seriously, what more could a girl need?
During the pandemic, I decided to order a kindle for the first time. I figured it would be a cool thing to have that would allow me to have a full library at my fingertips during a time where I couldn’t browse the aisles of Barnes and Nobles. At first the kindle was my new BFF!! I could read in the dark, laying down, and easily download and start a new book right away. Love at first sight!! To my surprise however, as time progressed I started to pick up the kindle less and less. I was worried that I lost my love and passion for reading. You could say me and my kindle started a long distance relationship.
Now this is where my DBT self kicks in – what’s prompting this change in behavior? Reading is my thing!! My go-to hobby!! What am I missing??
And that’s when I had my AH-HA moment…
MASTERY!! Reading on the kindle didn’t prompt the same feeling of mastery as a hard-copy book does!
For those of you reading wondering what building mastery is- it’s a skill found in emotion regulation where you engage yourself in something each day that brings a challenge in order to achieve the feeling of accomplishment.
When I purchase a new book, I get excited about the amount pages I see. It creates a sense of wonder and excitement of what is to come. And let me tell you when I finish a book with over 500 pages, I’m feeling like a BOSS!
I’m also a person who has to finish a chapter before stopping and placing my book mark in it. I notice I’ll look at the clock for the time, count the pages until the next chapter, and then say “you can do this”, and on I read. If you just read that and thought to yourself “I do that too!”, thank you for the validation.
Chapter by chapter I make my way through. And as I watch my book marker consume more pages as I work my way deeper into the book, the more I accomplished I feel.
But let me tell you – the best feeling is finishing the last page , closing the book, and placing it on the shelf with my collection. It’s fun to reflect how all of these books started with one page, and ended with a feeling of connection, accomplishment, and drive for more.
Mastery can be anything that gives you that accomplished feeling and what prompts that feeling is different for each person. It can be baking a new recipe, doing the laundry AND putting it away, being intentional with a new skill, saving money, exercising, or even reading an entire blog post!
Feel accomplished yet?
